The context of things

Stories told out of context to ourselves and loved ones are oftentimes the most egregious lies ever told. As an A student in mathematics all my life I will break down truth mathematically as follows:

His story + Her story + Context = Truth 

From the above formula, it is readily apparent that truth taken out of context ( Truth – Context ) is nothing more than His and Her story ( His story + Her story ) which will be fraught with subjectivity and influenced by hurt feelings from unmet expectations.  

Most people believe it’s their duty to be loyal to stories told to them by others they categorize as friends, siblings, parents, or others having preferred status wholesale, without testing its veracity contextually. It is therefore not uncommon to be facing objections from people unknown because of some His story or Her story told out of context, making it a lie.

There are many children turning adults living unnecessarily hateful lives because of a His story or a Her story repeated often enough in their sphere of socialization that they erroneously hold on to as truth. After all, auntie, uncle, granny, etc cannot all be telling lies they reason.

However, I will repeat for emphasis that His story or Her story told out of context will most likely be tantamount to a lie.

Here’s a practical example:

There was a 32-year-old unmarried woman from a group of married friends who befriended a 32-year-old man who was in an emotionally challenging common-law relationship that was most productive sexually, economically, and otherwise.  

Consistent with the Trojan horse phenomenon, the 32-year-old woman worked her way into their lives armed with the requisite empathy and sympathy to convince the 32-year-old man that she was a more viable alternative as a wife. Supported by family and married friends of over 23 years, she earned the highest honor a man can give a woman and became his wife as he convinced himself he had found his soulmate, a ride-or-die woman who was superior to his common-law wife of almost 7 years.  

The grass is always greener on the other side shall be the downfall of us all. The marriage commenced from the actual honeymoon with a list of things this 32-year-old woman was not prepared to do for her husband whilst mocking her predecessor by suggesting she only did these things taken for granted out of insecurity. 

In essence, the 32-year-old previously unmarried woman without a relationship was too secure to care about pleasing her new husband.  It was not surprising that this marriage went downhill in just about every way imaginable. The 32-year-old man went from a common-law relationship of unparalleled economic compatibility with unlimited sex to a marriage starved of sex and where he single-handedly paid significant bills like a good husband should.

It therefore never took a rocket scientist to figure out that it would not have been long before Delilah would make her grand entrance into that dolly house and the rest is history. During an argument in the presence of her aunt and other supportive family members, this 32-year-old woman told her husband that in her life her parents came First, her siblings came Second and her friends of over 23 years came Third with her 32-year-old husband somewhere after these categories of people.  

This was the most insightful truth she ever told and this truth set the stage for the demise of that marriage.  Against this background which resulted in a period of physical separation, the story is told within the hallowed hall of family and friends that pregnancy was imminent during the period where supposedly reconciliation was the primary focus. 

Against this context, a child was born and Her story has been the talk of the town ever since, supported by many examples of unpalatable facts. We ALL have a tendency to lie by omission when we recount our respective His story and Her story to mask the fact that we are oftentimes the author of our own demise.  

These critical omissions create a narrative of His story and Her story supported by selective facts that ultimately serve to destroy not only our lives but that of people we care the most about. The above story is more common than we care to admit and highlights a potent example of how we harm ourselves and loved ones by remaining stuck in lies because of pertinent truths we repeat out of context.

The greatest lies ever told are oftentimes the ones we tell ourselves to avoid accountability and taking responsibility for the decisions we selfishly made that have lifelong consequences. Let’s learn to forgive ourselves and move on in life, the future is infinitely brighter if we choose to learn from our mistakes and refrain from deflecting blame to others.

Contextual truth is most liberating ?

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of Ojinni. Any content provided by authors are their own and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization company, individuals or anyone or anything.

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