DEAR SARAH…I HAVE SOME ADVICE. YOU DON’T MIND ME WRITIN’ IN “EPALICS”, DO YA?

This post guest-blogged by Julie Sewell-Schmidt…

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The world watched political history unfold before its very eyes this year. Regardless of the outcome of the presidential election, the United States was going to have a female veep or an African-American Commander-in-Chief.

Now that the big day is over, what’s to become of Alaska’s Governor Palin? I was thinkin’, just to be all neighborly and all, maybe I’d write her a letter. I had to dig deep down into my mid-western roots so we’d be talkin’ apples to apples. It might not be the same as speakin’ Alaska to Alaska, but I think she’d appreciate the effort. The letter would go something like this

Dear Governor Palin,

Can I call you Sarah? I’m sure it’s o.k., you being so down-homey and all.

Please accept my biggest sorry on your party’s losin’ this past Tuesday. Though I’m sure you were crushed bigger than a two-timin’ policeman, you were lookin’ composed and dignified standing there next to Todd. Your hubby, by the way, is just about as handsome as a six-point rack on the wall of the den, if you ask me.

Anywho, ya know some of those pundits are jokin’ you’ll be announcing your candidacy (ya know, runnin’ for president) for 2012 real soon, but I think ya know there’s some chores that need doin’ back in Alaska before that happens. That big ol’ state sure isn’t gonna govern itself, ya know.

As leader (ya know, “The Mrs.”) of Alaska, you’ve got a lot on your plate there, missy. There’s probably more bridges to build, and that moose population mighta just gone outta control while you were out and about, toodlin’ across this great country of ours. There might be some of those ol’ Russians lookin’ over the water, there, too, ya know. I’ve heard ya got a good eye for shootin’, but don’t get all trigger happy with them. I’m sure ya know this, but I’m just sayin’. Maybe ya could look at some oil drillin’ stuff while you’re huntin’.

With all ya got happenin’, the most important job ya got, as I see it, is as mother to those great kids. I didn’t click with ya on those silly ol’ political topics, you bein’ part of the GOP and all, but when it comes to that mom stuff, I’ve got your back, Sarah. So you go home for a while, kick off those new duds, turn on an old episode of “Maverick”, tend to those babies, and do that governin’ like you know how to do it. We’ll see ya back in a few years. Heck, those media folk aren’t gonna let ya just go away all peaceful and such, so I’m thinkin’ while ya got some down time, maybe you should study some of that darned pesky international stuff that mighta tripped ya up the last few months. I’ll betcha that you’re gonna need it in a couple years. We haven’t heard the last of ya, Sarah. Darn tootin’.

Take care now, and we’ll be seein’ ya soon.